I remember one April Fools' day in high school when I told my then boyfriend that I was pregnant. He was HORRIFIED! He was my high school sweetheart and it was the cruelest thing I could have done. I played it out for a short while before bursting out, "April Fools'!" He did NOT think it was funny, but he was relieved. Back then I thought you could actually get pregnant by having sex. How dumb was I?
That was well over fifteen years ago.
This morning I was feeling a little nostalgic for a simpler time. A time when I truly did believe sex = baby. It made me realize how much of an education in how babies are made I have gotten over the past few years, and how ridiculous and ineffective sex ed in high school is. It's a shame women aren't taught to understand their bodies and their cycles better. Had I known... let's not go there.
This morning I texted Noah that I got my period. (Yes, he loves and appreciates the updates in the middle of a work meeting). I wish I could have followed that text with one that said, "April Fools!" but I couldn't. It was the truth. At the beginning of my next cycle (unless some MIRACLE happens) I'm set to start medication to prepare for the donated embryo. It's a lot to wrap my head around, but I'm thankful we have a plan. It's one that feels like the best fit for us at this stage. But it all feels so...heavy. There's a lot of preparation, a lot of hope, a lot of anxiety--a lot riding on this. That's how many of us feel when we are gearing up to start a cycle, all over again. Heavy.
So it's up to us to find a little light, a little laughter. This April Fool's Day I'm going to count on my Hubs and Louie C.K. to make me smile.What do the rest of you do to lighten the mood? Sending love and laughter to everyone out there on IF Island.