For a long time I approached my life on IF Island with this idea that I had to figure things out. In a way I did. When baby making is a process that involves a variety of doctors and donors, there is a lot to figure out. It was all a big puzzle and with each procedure or intervention we did, I was convinced that I had solved it. I had it all figured out! Wellll.... not so much. We were constantly headed back to the drawing board to figure it out all over again.
Lately, I've noticed I've had a smilar approach with Momo. I want to figure things out with her. I want to figure out the naps and the sleep so I read a bunch of stuff, obsess about it, and try a bunch of things and just when I think we are on to something, something else comes up.
Like last week she started sleeping pretty much through the night (I know, right?). And I was so proud of all of us-- we had figured out night time sleep! Ummm. Wrong. Last night she learned how to flip over onto her tummy in her crib and thought this was the most awesome thing, which it is, except that she can't roll back over and it freaks her out and she doesn't know she can actually put her head down. And it's 3am! So instead she yells and we end up playing flip the baby for hours. I tried to soothe her and encourage her to sleep on her tummy or side but she was not having it.
Noah and I laughed as we watched her kick and kick then flip, and I was once again reminded that I never and probably will never figure any of this out. Life is an evolution of changes and I have no choice but to go with what is. That's how it always is, no matter how hard I try to figure things out, the situation is constantly changing. All I can do is what seems to be the right thing in the moment and cut myself a little slack the rest of the time. I think that's all any of us can do. Hopefully things fall into place. Hopefully whatever challenge is in front of us gets somewhat sorted out. But we have to remember that sometimes it's not so cut and dry. Sometimes we have to roll with it, whatever that "it" might be. Right now that "it" for us is Momo. We're just rolling, literally rolling, with her.