They just are.
Noah and I usually spend turkey day with his family up in Seattle. Thats' where we are now. Looking back on the last few Thanksgivings has given me some...I don't know, perspective in how very thankful I am this year.
Thanksgiving 2012 was the WORST. We were mid IVF cycle and things were quickly falling apart. Noah and I ate the equivalent of airplane food turkey at a hotel in Palms Springs (because we couldn't travel with our doctor appointment schedule) and imagined that Thanksgiving the following year would be different. Thanksgiving 2013 was different but not in a good way. Not in the way we were hoping for. The egg donation cycle we did with my sister the summer of 2013 was a bust, so by November we were still trying to figure things out. That was the time I "found" Momo and we went to meet with the clinic about embryo donation. It all seemed really... bizarre yet hopeful. Last Thanksgiving, 2014 I was on bed rest with Momo, and I couldn't believe she was becoming a person inside of me. I was terrified but thankful for every day she grew bigger and stronger.
This year we are back in Seattle, with Momo. Now I can't imagine our lives and our family in any other way. Though it's exhausting and chaotic to travel or pretty much do anything with a curious 8 month old, she blows my mind every day and her existence makes me eternally thankful.
Noah has a group of friends back home who all have kids. Some have one, some have three. Momo is the youngest. Tonight they all came over to crawl on top of each other chew each others toys, and I had a moment of overwhelming gratitude that we could be a part of this. I'm very much aware that many people who go home for the holidays have similar moments of friends and family and babies, yet surrounded by their loved ones they can't help but feel totally alone. Noah and I know that feeling-- that longing and sadness and we send love to everyone out there who is in that situation today.
All I can say is it might take time, years perhaps, but eventually things change. Eventually something has to give. Eventually you don't feel so lonely.
Happy Thanksgiving. Wishing that regardless of where you are in your journey to parenthood that you can find something beautiful to be thankful for.