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August 30, 2016

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C

I had good interactions overall, except I didn't like how the doctor (Goldfarb in Cleveland) handled it when I ovulated "through" the ganerelix and the cycle was over just before retrieval. I thought he should have accepted some responsibility - more frequent follicle monitoring might have prevented it - instead of blaming my body. It would have been nice if they offered to pay for some of the drugs next cycle but no. For some reason I recall the "stimming" of that cycle as going the best, feeling so positive and just elated, believing it would work. Must have been the hormones. But that was as devastating as the failed transfers, psychologically...
Thankfully overall good nurses especially, since I didn't do hpt's, for all those phone calls with bad news. Thank God it's in the past. May it soon be part of everyone's past...

Katie

This is so true. The right balance of compassion and professionalism is key. For my second IVF I opted not to do a HPT, so after getting blood drawn first thing in the morning for my beta, I anxiously awaited the results. The nurse finally called me at 4pm saying it was negative and that she put off calling me all day because she hated to bear the bad news. Meanwhile I was an emotional wreck by then. So unprofessional. I left that clinic pretty quick after that.

Pamela

When I was informed of my miscarriage over the phone, the nurse who called was so chipper, I just assumed it was good news. Then the hammer came down -- again, cheerfully. Are they psychotic or what?

And my first doc in Turkey was great, always attentive to my (many, many) questions, interested to hear any research I had read, open to letting me try things, infinitely patient. He even came all the way back across town after he left the clinic to perform my first transfer.

But after he moved on, my next doc was a condescending ass who refused to do something that would have taken five minutes (and saved me endless heartache, and may also have saved my children) because it was "not his protocol" and he "can't do everything." He basically just kept telling me to calm down and relax and trust him.

Sooooo easy for him to say. If it doesn't work, well, as he ended up telling me, "Just try again." Right. Easy as that... Sigh.

Kitten

These stories are so heartbreaking. I'm lucky that everyone at my clinic has been wonderful. Even though I never knew which of the 3 REs I would see at my monitoring appointments, everyone communicated very well and read my chart before opening their mouths. I don't know what they're doing different from other clinics, but it's working. I'm so sorry other people are getting such terrible treatment at their clinics. It's definitely a time when extra sensitivity is needed.

A.

Like most, I've dealt with some of these things. I'm also a bulldog and will drop a clinic faster than they can ask why if they screw up. Some times I have just been thankful that I knew enough about my own treatment to catch their medication errors, etc. However (and I'm not sure it's much of a consolation) this is not limited to IF. My brother was fighting for his life on the cancer ward at age 21. You'd think the CANCER WARD nurses would have some sensitivity training and sense of how dire errors and mix-ups can be, but no. He had an allergic reaction to his chemo, and the Benedryl they ordered for him languished at the nurses' station for 12 hours before I called and started screaming like a maniac because he had suffered (and luckily did not die of anaphylactic shock) all night. They had a novice intern doing the spinal injections of his chemo, and he had to go in over and over to get it right each time my brother needed this procedure - excruciating. The war I had to wage to get a seasoned doctor to start doing his spinal injections so he could be poked just one time was insane and filled with extensive condescending lectures about the "teaching hospital" he was in. I had to call the government agency that oversees their accreditation after several pointless complaints lodged in "patient relations" in order to see change. At some point, it just becomes the daily grind of the medical personnel and they lose sight of how this feels to patients, for whom cancer and infertility comprise a new and terrifying life crisis.

Jojo

My entry into the Infertility world was a phone call from a flippant nurse at 430pm on a Friday that I picked up while I was reaching for a bottle of sparkling water in the beverage section at a gas station who was calling with my results for what I thought were just check the box blood tests when we first started trying and she said ' I am sorry to tell you this but your results tell me you will never be able to have a child with your own eggs'. Call us next week if you want to discuss other options or talk to a doctor. Have a good weekend. WTF. I called the office 2 years later after I gave birth to my miracle OE IVF son to tell her she was wrong :).

Elizabeth

Honestly, it's so hard. I started feeling like I was in an abusive relationship with my clinic when I was going through IVF. The (male) doctor's comments that the procedures weren't that bad, the lack of communication, the cold and brusque treatment from the ultrasound tech. Yet, I went back for more day after day. I'm sad to hear that experiences like mine seem to be fairly common. I think a sensitivity training is so needed.

D

Yeah, given how much money we (or our insurance) are paying for these services, and how critical every detail is to our lives, you'd expect more attention and professionalism. Put some of this sloppiness alongside the extreme disarray that some sperm banks have been discovered to be in as per a recent article in the New York Times, and I feel like you have a class action suit in the making, or at least cause for major reform.

j

a few years ago we did IVF and it was a comfortable experience dealing with the nurses and staff. they were patient and very thorough. fast forward to now as we're doing another IVF...it's a bit different. they're rushing more now b/c of the increase in patients overseas and we've had wrong instructions, no calls-backs and having to follow up ourselves, etc this time. 'luckily' for us, b/c we had gone through it the first time, we kinda know what to expect but for those who are new, i can see how confusing it can be (when one sheet says 250IU and another sheet says 300IU).

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