It's been a while. I always feel badly when a lot of time goes by without checking in. The past month has been business as usual-- I had ideas for a second documentary that I have to sell Noah on because he's still dealing with the specifics about getting the first one out in a few months. Momo is starting preschool next week. I've had some family stuff-- one being saying goodbye to my Baboo, who was like an adopted grandmother to me. When my mom moved to this country from Japan, she didn't speak much English. She came here for art school which is where she met Baboo-- a much older very outspoken hippie who taught my mom how to drive and probably the F word. She was an incredible artist and dancer and because my grandparents lived in NY and Japan, she became like a grandma to me. She was at my birth and loved me just as deeply as she loved her own children and grandchildren. She's at home with hospice care and I went to see her this weekend because chances are she won't be here much longer. Anyway, I guess my point in sharing this is that simple reminder that life is so precious but also that love and familial relationships cross the genetic boundary in lots of different ways.
I really only want to write when I feel like I have something worth talking about. One thing I have been noticing a lot lately, and by a lot I mean about a half dozen people I know who have recently done FETs with PGD or PGS tested embryos and have been completely baffled that they haven't worked. And I have been too, because I think there is a false assumption when transferring a PGD tested that it's just going to work.
So a PGD tested embryo is when the doc takes a single cell out of the embryo to test chromosomes. The information you get is if it is a genetically "normal" embryo and gender if you want it. The result is a confidence in that embryo--why shouldn't there be....and possibly an attachment to a potential boy or girl. Knowing gender sounds like a fun idea ahead of time but I have also seen how hard it is when the pregnancy doesn't work out. I believe the success rate for PGD tested embryos is somewhere between 55%-70% depending on who you ask, which is high, but it's not 100%. Nothing is, as we all well know. And I'm no doctor here so your doc might tell you otherwise. The testing itself can also be very expensive, averaging around $5,000 last I checked. So is it worth it? I guess it really depends on the situation but this is a conversation I feel I've been having with different people in different situations and I guess if you can afford it without any issue and you have enough embryos that the risk of doing the biopsy feels manageable, it might be a no brainer, but anyone who really needs to weigh the pro/con list of this one might feel a bit stressed out. The added stress is knowing that the WTF feeling after a negative beta test can feel a little super sized.
Is this something a lot of people have dealt with? Having to decide on PGD or PGS testing and then not having the expected outcome?
I guess it's always most important to do what feels right to you and your partner and doctor, and then have realistic expectations. Whatever that means anymore. Good luck to anyone having a transfer soon. I'm gearing up for #2. My phone appointment with my doctor is mid September and then its go time. The excitement I feel about this possibility is only a fraction higher than the dread I feel about everything I have to do to try and get this thang to work. But it can be done. It will be done. And hopefully my decade of trying to make babies will eventually be behind me.