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June 18, 2013

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Don't Count Your Eggs

It's all so heartbreaking. The biological urge to procreate is so strong and so...animal. And seeing it happen so easily for others strikes something deep inside. It's a reminder. A trigger. A little salt in the wound. Even though it's not intentional, it always stings a little. Coming to a place of acceptance and love is wonderful and important, but there is always a moment when you find out about yet another pregnancy where you have to take a deep breath. Our babies will come. Some how. Some way. And then that hurt in our eyes we just can't hide will transform to pure joy! Good luck. Never give up!

Blake

Your blogs and writing touch me each time, not only because I am going through the same struggles in life, but because they're so incredibly real. For the last almost 9 years of my marriage, we've seen and experienced friends go through pregnancies and births and birthdays and more pregnancies and more births. Some of my friends now have 3,4, and even 5 children. My mom once said she witnessed the hurt behind my eyes at a baby shower. That was pretty powerful. I didn't realize how much it really was hurting me, and even worse, how I was apparently showing it. Of course, my mother said it was only really obvious to her because she knows me so well :) I've now come to a point in life where I am not, cannot, be jealous or angry at other's fortunes. A baby is a miracle, no matter who's family they're chosen for. We've gone through 2 IUIs and I'm not giving up. I still too have the option of adoption or even possibly fostering children, but I really want to try and make my dream of carrying my own child inside of me. Thank you for putting it all out there. Its important to know that infertility is very real and not something to only speak about behind closed doors.

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