« "I believe in you" | Main | No Man's Land »

December 09, 2013


Feed You can follow this conversation by subscribing to the comment feed for this post.


Nice blog. I am struggling also, some what different problem,age is prime factor for ivf treatment which also reduce chance of success rate.I hope that you dream will fulfilled.

Gonal F Price

In video you both looks really sad..But don't worry. try again i am sure every thing will be OK.

Don't Count Your Eggs

Hey Caitlyn. Sorry you haven't been having much luck on IF Island either. It's rough. And it's really rough to feel so misunderstood. You are SOOO not alone! There are some incredible warriors out there fighting for their family just like you. Wishing all good things for you this new year!


Hi Maya,

Your blog is amazing and I am excited for your video project. So often I feel isolated on IF Island- it is so uplifting to read stories about how we are not alone!
Something you said in your video, "So what do we do now? I just go back to work like nothing happened?" resonated so much with me. I swear I have said that same line a few times (after two failed transfers and a miscarriage). It feels so surreal and lonely to return to the land of the living after such disappointment.
I admire your courage! Thank you for sharing your story.
Austin, TX

Don't Count Your Eggs

Hi Heather. Welcome. You've been through so much crap, and have more than permission to feel sad and acknowledge the shitty unfairness of all of this. It's awful. There's so sunshine to blow up anything, but there is sunshine still in the world. You have every right to decide when you're ready to open your eyes to it, or search for it. Sometimes it's hard to find, but it's there for you. I can understand wanting to take some time. I've written a lot about our first IVF cycle. I thought it would be our only IVF cycle. I could never imagine we'd be where we are, or that I could survive all that I have. But I'm still standing, kind of. You sound like a true survivor, a real IF warrior. I wish you so much luck with this IVF and hope the clouds finally open for you.


I just found your blog. I am in the very early stages of my first IVF cycle. I have been pregnant 9 times, 2 ectopic with the tubes removed, I just turned 40 in October.
I have read so many blogs, discussion boards, pretty much everything for every scenario.
I cannot tell you how much your blog just resonated with all of the emotions I've had for the past 10 years. I'm usually pretty private about being sad and only my husband and best friend have seen me at my worst. I really needed to read something that wasn't "oh poor me" or blowing sunshine up my ass.

It's like you've given me permission to acknowledge just how shitty this whole process has been and how incredibly strong I am capable of being.

My baseline is January 2, 2014. My medication will be delivered next Friday.

Thank you.

Don't Count Your Eggs

Thanks Jackie. I did see that but wasn't sure if I qualified. I've done one IVF with my own eggs, one with my sisters, and one FET with my sisters last embryo. I will look into it more. Yes. My parents are awesome. They're the most loving and ridiculous supporters we've got!


How many times have you had IVF? I saw this link on twitter, a research study in LA if you've had at least 3 failed IVFs. http://infertilitysurvivalkit.com/listing/thrive-ivf-research-study/
And yes, the doctors at CFP are unbelievably good. Dr. March is my hero.
I am getting much out of your writing and love the video posts, especially the one with your sweet parents. It's awesome that you are documenting and sharing your journey in the way that you are.

Don't Count Your Eggs

Hi Jackie. Welcome. I get being terrified. So sorry you've had to go through all that you have. Being scar free is great but being unsure about being able to sustain a pregnancy is rough. I hope it works out for you in some way. Your baby will find you. Yes, I know about CFP. I know many people who LOVE Dr. Marrs. I just saw they had a blog post earlier this year about Asherman's Syndrome (http://californiafertilitypartners.com/fertility-blog/fertility-treatment/ashermans-syndrome-explained/). Thanks for checking in! Best of luck.


I just found your blog. I feel for you and your husband very much. I am struggling also, though with something different - I had Asherman's Syndrome due to a D&C for a missed miscarriage. I'm scar-free now but it thinned my lining a lot and it's a trauma to your uterus, so no telling if I will be able to get pregnant. I'm terrified and I am already 36. I wanted to mention something to you. Are you familiar with California Fertility Partners? I flew there for my treatment from Ohio and cannot imagine better doctors. There are IVF doctors there also. I wanted to mention it just in case.
Wishing you the very best. I look forward to revisiting your blog often.

Don't Count Your Eggs

Thanks so Much Jen. It means a lot. Going through this is really lonely but know you are definitely not alone. I wish you so much luck with your donor cycle. Please keep me posted on how you're doing.


Hi Maya,

I've been meaning to post a comment for some time now. I'm going through similar things, and I wanted you to know that I follow your blog religiously and really enjoy it. It's well-written and heartfelt. As a person going through an egg donor cycle, I've felt alone many times, and your blog alleviates that quite a bit. I'm sure I speak for many of your readers! Please keep it up and hang in there. I'm 100% sure that you're going to come out on top in the end, and that this will simply be a story of your own perseverence that you'll refer to in years to come as you continue to inspire others.


The comments to this entry are closed.

Click here to VOTE for the blog!
My Photo

Photo Albums

Check Out Baby Quest Foundation!