If you're reading this post today, chances are you aren't a fan of Mother's day. At least not right now. So I'm writing today as a reminder that it's a Sunday. Just a Sunday. A day to rest and play and treat yourself as you gear up for a brand new week ahead.
Last year on Mother's day I was angry and avoidant. Not super angry, but frustrated that three Mother's days had passed and I was, well, not yet a mother. It hurts. It just hurts. I wrote this post the day after Mother's day, which gives a glimpse of how overwhelmed I was by not being a mother.
This year I feel fine. I'm trying not to think about how another year has gone by. It's a super windy day in LA LA Land and I woke up to the sound of the bamboo outside swaying and rustling. I rubbed the top of my feet against the bottom of Noah's, and stayed in bed for longer than normal. I focused on that cozy, warm feeling a Sunday morning can bring.
One day, a little person will make me a cute card and tell me I'm "world's greatest mom," (hopefully not in the form of a coffee mug, I can live without that). That little person may not know the struggle Noah and I went through for him/her, and may not truly understand the degree to which he/she was wanted, but that kid will feel it. Will feel the love and excitement we will have waking up everyday with the gift of being his/her parent. I'm going to focus on that feeling today, that hopeful longing and the belief that it will happen soon. I'm going to avoid being in public as much as possible, and go hang out with my mom and my aunt.
Wishing all of my fellow mama's-in-waiting a beautiful Sunday. Hoping that it's filled with love.
Comments