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June 09, 2014


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For me, I definitely have gone from super positive to super negative. We have been on this journey for 4 years and while we are extremely lucky to have insurance coverage for our cycles (we live in Boston), it is now getting to the point of being emotionally exhausting. We now have been told that our chances are pretty low and we should look at other options. I think for us, we just aren't there yet. We are coming to terms with our situation and then will make decisions when we are in a better frame of mind. One thing that has helped have been "pity parties". We give ourselves time to cry and yell and then move on. Like all of you, we just keep going since we have no other choice. What's meant to be will be and it will make us stronger.

Don't Count Your Eggs

Thanks for sharing y'all. Jo, I'm so sorry your first IVF didn't end the way you had hoped. It's so heartbreaking. The first time we weren't successful I was so shocked and broken up--I know how much it hurts. I remember just wishing we could take the morning of the dreaded phone calls over again. Take two, please. I wish you so much love and luck with whatever comes next for you. A Few Good Eggs--you've really been through it all! And you're so right. Attitudes change literally on a minute by minute basis...it's hard to stay grounded. Dani--it's a good reminder that how you feel won't necessarily affect the outcome. I get superstitious at times and blame myself for feeling negative, thinking that's why something didn't work. And yet when I feel positive and things don't work, I don't blame myself for feeling positive. Interesting how that works.

Sophia Donovon

Hello to All,

Read your work, you guys are doing fab. Infact, the couples who think they’ve not been able to wish for one because of their infertility actually need good advices from IVF and Surrogacy clinics. I recently came across the doctors at Alta Bates, and I’d really recommend them to all who need IVF.

Would like to mention again, you doing a Fab work!!!


Keeping my fingers crossed for you maya. I've just had my first go at ivf fail and your blogs have been really supportive to me. so thank you for taking the time to write it all down. Your honesty is a powerful thing x

A Few Good Eggs

I find that I fluctuate between being optimistic and totally pessimistic. After infertility, a stillbirth, and a second miracle pregnancy, I know how right and how wrong things can go and my attitude about where we'll end up changes from minute to minute. I do feel very strongly that being positive about things and generally having a positive outlook helps in some way... if not in a physical way, it helps your mental state of mind, which can't hurt. Anyway... interesting to read about how differently everyone handles this stuff!


This is such a great topic to explore. Me, I'm a pessimist. But that extends to other parts of my life - it's just my personality. I think the message of, just let yourself feel what you're feeling, is great. I truly believe one's feelings about a procedure, good or bad, don't affect the outcome. I have been optimistic about cycles (mostly at the beginning of all this) and that didn't make them work. And the pessimism I felt about other cycles didn't make them fail. People have told me that if I don't think my procedures will work, they never will. Well I didn't. And they did. In the end, my reproductive system didn't give a rat's ass how I felt.

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