Hubs Post - Maya's Massive Mango Meltdown

Noah here. Hope you're well. You look great.

It's been a little more than a week since we did our frozen embryo transfer. I've been giving Maya medication for much longer. One of these medications is a morning shot of progesterone. It's not fun for Maya. It's not fun for me to give the shot. But we do it, every morning, because we want to have a baby. Then I make her tea and hope she can get some rest and I go to the gym to work out my helplessness and frustration. Today being Sunday, I also played in my rec league softball game (we won, thanks for asking). It was good to be outside, being active, and getting sweaty in the sunshine. I had to say it was a good day. Except for that one hour.

You see, there was an incident with a mango. I've never in my life cut a mango but when Maya said she wanted to eat one I said I'd prep it for her. She said there was a certain way to do it. I said I'm not an idiot, I can cut a fruit. So then I cut it - did you know there's a giant pit in there and not lots of little seeds? And then I realized that a mango is not a papaya. Mangoes are stringy and don't cut easily. I essentially shredded the mango. And, of course, it was the last mango in the house. Plate presentation wasn't great either. I gave it to Maya and it was all downhill from there. There was yelling, tears, accusations, and me not knowing whether to laugh, cry, or just run out of the house. It was a meltdown of epic proportions.  I was simultaneously embarrassed, empathetic, and entertained. After all, how should you react when the woman you love is sobbing uncontrollably, rips a shredded mango from your hand and screams, "I'm just going to eat this! Like an animal!"

Of course this was not really about the mango. It's never about the mango. It's about the fact that every day I shoot needles into her butt - sometimes twice - and I don't put anything in my butt. I go work out or play sports to blow off steam and take my mind off the stress of our situation. Maya has had to postpone her yoga and her workouts until she knows whether or not she's pregnant. She's also got an incredible cocktail of chemicals and hormones swirling around her body, while the most foreign substance in my blood is a nice afternoon espresso. Maya's routines and comforts, like many of you, have been disrupted. It's difficult. And it can be frustrating when you see others - namely your spouse - enjoying the activities that make them feel whole and good. So for the first time, I patrolled center field in my game with an understanding that I was lucky to be out there. I ate ice cream for dessert tonight and appreciated that I could, while Maya's bowl sat empty. No reason to feel guilty but I do appreciate what I'm able to do and I appreciate the sacrifice my wife is making in her own life to keep her body just right. There was only one mango, and she really wanted it. Her butt was bruised and sore, and that mango was going to help it feel better. 

Tomorrow Maya will go in for her beta blood test and we should find out if our little adopted embryo is growing up nice and big (I think they look like shrimp with giant eyes at this point). The last time we were waiting for a positive/negative I was at a loss for words.

Finally, thanks again for all the support and the votes for Resolve's Hope Award for best blog. If you haven't voted yet, please take a second to do so. She doesn't like to self-promote but I think she's got an amazing voice that has connected and resonated with a lot of other great people. To vote, click here.

That's that. Wish us luck. Say a prayer, cross a couple fingers, think happy thoughts, send a supportive tweet. This time tomorrow I hope I'm feeling happy and eating a celebratory mango.

Comments

[Kelly]

So much love and positive thoughts to you both. You guys make me feel less alone. Thank you. Voted and praying for that little embryo !!

[Jess]

Praying and praying for good news today !!!

[Christiana]

Please, please, please let it be your time. Praying for you.

[Dawn]

Sending good thoughts from WI! You guys have been on my mind this past weekend.

[Deb]

I'm freaking out on your behalf over here in NYC. Good luck!!!

[A Few Good Eggs]

So many good wishes for you both. Your post rang so familiar and I'm going to share it with my husband. Here's to good news tomorrow....

[phaira]

Thinking about you guys and hoping for good news today! xo

[Ruby]

More luck coming your way from London...EVERYTHING IS CROSSED!!! xxx

[WBC]

Noah, you are a good man. Hoping hoping hoping that this is it for you guys!

[Lisa]

Said a prayer for your beta tomorrow. Hoping so hard this is it for you guys.

[My Life As A Case Study]

Sending hope and prayers to you both! XOXO

[Laura R.]

I have so much hope for both of you this morning. Prayers and positive vibes headed your way.

[Mandi]

Lots of luck from Canada!

[Kandie]

Good post! And that meltdown is totally understandable! Voted last week! Praying for good news today!! :)

[Kas]

All the mangoes in the world for Maya! Sitting on needles here and waiting for good news.

I also think I'll show this post to my hubby. He's supportive and gives the least painful butt shots in the world, but it would probably feel good for him to know, he's not the only one to have to go through their spouse's hormonal rollercoasters. :)

[Laura]

Thinking of you! Fingers crossed!!

[Nadia]

Wishing you the best of luck from Amsterdam! May you receive excellent news today!

[Katrine]

Many best luck wishes are sent from Hong Kong too!!

[Brenda]

Maya and Noah, my husband and are praying for you. It is your turn.

[Ninou]

I'm crossing all my fingers and toes for you today and sending you a lot of courage for these last waiting hours!

[Anon]

Wishing you both the best of luck from London! I have been following your posts and have everything crossed for you today. Will vote now! X